It’s fitting that Meghan King Edmonds dressed up as zombie for Halloween. With three kids under the age of two, The Real Housewives of Orange County alum hasn’t been getting much shut-eye. But the 34-year-old is grateful to be sleep-deprived with her husband of four years, Jim Edmonds, even if they have some differences.
In a blog post titled “5 Things I’ve Learned in 4 Years of Marriage,” Meghan referenced Gary Chapman’s 1995 self-help book The Five Love Languages. (According to Dr. Chapman, there are five emotional love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Physical Touch.)
“Jimmy likes acts of service. I like quality time,” the former Bravo personality wrote on Sunday, October 28. “Jimmy will wash my car or clean the kitchen. Even though these are nice, I’d rather two of us have a nice dinner without cell phones or go on a field trip to the museum.”
But the Meghan doesn’t get upset with the retired baseball player, 48, when he doesn’t think to plan a romantic picnic. “Nudging him the right direction is fine,” she noted in the post. “But also embracing what he perceives as the greatest acts of love is going to make everyone happier.”
Meghan urged fans to not compare themselves with couples they see on social media. “It’s not real. Remind yourself of that,” she explained. “The best marriages are flawed. Remember, it’s a marathon, not a sprint and no one ever finished a marathon saying ‘dang, that was easy!’ They are sweaty, tired, sore, but they are proud, accomplished and happy.”
The St. Louis, Missouri, native has found that Jim responds well to positive reinforcement. “Validate his hard work. Whether it’s helping change a diaper, working 9-5 at his job, taking the dog to the vet, paying the bills or going to the gym,” Meghan wrote. “These are making your life easier even if indirectly. Encourage his activities outside of your relationship so that he is well-rounded, confident and can appreciate your marriage even more.”
The couple are parents of 23-month-old daughter, Aspen, and 4-month-old Hayes and Hart. They recently returned home from a kid-free vacation to Mexico. “Our marriage needs it,” Meghan wrote earlier this month. “We’ve become complacent in our lives and have taken each other for granted.”
He concluded that high standards don't work in a marriage if partners have poor communication skills, a high level of stress, or little time to devote to the relationship. The work of couples therapists John and Julie Gottman provides some answers to the question of what is reasonable to expect in a happy marriage.