What if it Happened a Long Time Ago?
If an incident of child abuse or neglect has never been reported before, it must be reported to the appropriate authorities, just like any other report of suspected abuse or neglect. This means that even if an incident occurred many years ago, the child is not at risk of further harm or neglect, or the child is now an adult, the incident must still be reported by your child’s counselor.
What Is Considered Child Abuse?
Although this may seem unnecessary, consider the many examples in the news of repeat child sexual offenders. How many of those incidents could have been avoided if the first child had reported the abuse? Put yourself in the shoes of a parent whose child is now exposed to the alleged perpetrator of the incident you or your child are reporting. Wouldn’t you want any previous incidents of child abuse or neglect to be reported, even if it was years after the incident?
Sometimes children witness and report abuse or neglect that has happened to another child. Source: Patrick Fore/Unsplash
Heidi Klum (mom of four: Leni, Henry, Johan and Lou (above)): “I’m not someone who [lives] like, ‘OK, this is a museum and you can’t sit here and you can’t touch this and everything has to be put in its place - [the kids] live here as much as we do. You come into our house and a giant elephant and lion are welcoming you. We have toys and things everywhere.”
What if My Child Wasn’t Involved?
Sometimes children witness or hear about abuse or neglect that has happened to another child, such as a sibling, cousin, or friend. Your child’s counselor is also required by law to report these allegations, just as they would report the suspected abuse or neglect of their own clients. Similarly, if you report actions that would be legally considered abusive or neglectful toward any child in your care—such as a child you are babysitting, coaching, or providing daycare for—a child abuse report will be filed, even though the child in question is not your own.
Additionally, many states have laws that require mandated reporters (like your child’s counselor) to report the suspected abuse or neglect of other vulnerable populations, such as the elderly and the disabled. You can find your state's mandated reporting laws here .
Finally, many states require that a child abuse report is made if there is reason to believe that domestic violence is occurring in a child’s home, even if that child has not been physically harmed. Often these laws state that living in a violent home produces "emotional" or "mental" injury to the child that warrants intervention.
Genuine accidents that result in injury to a child are generally not considered child abuse. Source: Nikoline Arns/Unsplash
Separate your needs from those of your children. They can’t live your dreams.
What if it Was an Accident?
Accidental injury to your child is generally not considered child abuse unless that accident occurred because you were negligent or under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Every parent has moments where they accidentally bump their child, or where their child injures themselves during a moment of parental distraction, and these genuine accidents are not considered child maltreatment.
Additionally, injuries your child accidentally receives while you are trying to prevent greater harm—such as bruises created on your child’s arm as you pull them out of oncoming traffic—are generally not considered child abuse.
What if My Child’s Counselor Makes a Child Abuse Report?
The greatest fear of many parents is that their child could make a vague statement that appears to indicate child abuse during a therapy session, and then be whisked away by child protective services before the parent has had an opportunity to explain the situation. The internet abounds with (often one-sided) horror stories, and some parents decide not to enroll their children in counseling based on this fear.
However, agencies designed to ensure child welfare understand that children do best when they can live safely with their families of origin. For this reason, removing a child from their home is a last resort intervention that is only used when it is determined through an investigation that a child is at immediate risk of further harm or neglect. In many cases, a child abuse investigation results in no change in a child’s immediate living situation, either due to the report failing to meet a state’s criteria for beginning an investigation or due to the investigation finding that the child is not at immediate risk of further harm or neglect.
Be strict about bedtime. A study published in 2013 in the journal Pediatrics found that seven-year-olds who had irregular bedtimes had more behavioral problems than did those with consistent bedtimes. And the longer the lack of a strict bedtime went on, the worse the problems became. If you work outside the home, it's tempting to keep kids up to have more time with them. But as much as possible, stay the course—even if that means you sometimes miss lights out. "We all make sacrifices," says Heather Taylor, Ph.D., a psychologist at the Morrissey-Compton Educational Center, in Redwood City, California. "Call or video-chat to say good night. Just be part of the routine."
What if I Have More Questions?
If you have more questions about the reporting laws or procedures in your state, you can look up your local statutes through the Department of Health and Human Services' Child Welfare Information Gateway .
Additionally, the child protective services agencies of most states maintain helpful websites where parents can learn more about their local child maltreatment reporting processes, as well as the services offered to families determined to be in need. Some state agencies even allow parents struggling to find effective disciplinary methods to call in and enroll themselves in preventative services such as parenting groups and family therapy.