I've managed to turn around a lot of my bad habits over the years, like reducing my fast food consumption, spending less time glued to screens, and finding an exercise regimen that I like and works for my life.
But my healthy habit journey isn't anywhere near completion yet. I'm constantly looking for ways to optimize my energy and improve my life. If you’re reading this article, chances are you too have a few habits you'd like to change. So why is the process of adopting new habits usually so difficult? Because there is not a system in place to help you get the job done (unless you've reached the problematic tipping point of developing an addiction or diagnosable disorder.) Even then, the systems that are in place just want to help you stop the bad habit, not give you the tools needed to adopt new, healthier ones.
Why does this happen? Partially because, as a society, we still hold onto a false notion that those struggling with addiction or mental health issues are somehow different than the rest of us "normal" folks. This is not only false, but it's also extremely dangerous because it ends up exacerbating the shame and stigma for those who are struggling, thus preventing them from seeking help.
The good news is that we do know a lot about how to change people's behavior before things escalate to a problematic tipping point. Today I’ll be sharing with you four different approaches to change bad habits and the scientifically proven tools that will help you adopt new habits.
"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" - Milton Berle
1. Behavioral Psychology
When we think, feel, and act in a particular way over a period of time, habits form, not only in our behavior but in our memory systems too.
There are different types of memory classification including semantic memory (knowledge), episodic memory (remembering events), and procedural memory (knowing how to do things) which is considered an implicit form of memory and therefore operating mostly below conscious awareness. It's this last memory type, procedural memory, that is most important in the formation of habits. Over many decades of research, three primary types of learning emerged in the behavioral psychology domain.
Classical conditioning (also known as Pavlovian conditioning) is learning through association. It was discovered by Russian physiologist Ivan Pavlov, which he discovered in his infamous study of dogs. In simple terms,classical conditioning refers to two stimuli which are linked together to produce a new learned response.
Operant conditioning refers to behavior that is shaped by either positive or negative reinforcement. It was developed by American Psychologist B.F. Skinner who studied the behavior of rats. He found that he could encourage or discourage behaviors based on a reward or punishment system.
Albert Bandura, an American psychologist, believed that people learn behaviors by observing and modelling other people’s behavior, attitudes, or emotions. In particular, he studied babies and young children and found that they imitated the behavior of those around them. This became the foundation of his social learning theory in which he highlighted that any form of learning requires the individual’s attention , retention, reproduction andmotivation to imitate the modelled behavior.
Be a Good Role Model
Researchers from MIT have identified that if neurons fire at the start and end of a specific behavior, then it becomes a habit. Neurons located in the habit formation region fire at the beginning of a new behavior, subside while the behavior occurs, and then fire again once the behavior is finished. Over time, patterns form, both in behavior and in the brain. This can make it extremely difficult to break a habit.
In the forebrain, the basal ganglia is known to control voluntary movements and it may also play a crucial role in habit formation (both good and bad) as well as emotional expression. This system is not just concerned with motor (body) movements, but it has a strong effect on the emotional part of the brain. Investigator and Professor at MIT, Ann Graybiel, believes that at its core, the basal ganglia works to help people develop habits, so that they become automatic. This frees up space in your brain and memory to take in all the other things we encounter on a day to day basis. Automatic habits may include riding a bicycle, driving a car or brushing your teeth.
However, it’s the same region that helps people develop unwanted, or unhealthy, habits like eating disorders , anxiety , depressed mood, and addictions.
Research in this field, that focuses on the neurons in the basal ganglia, may lead to new psychological and drug treatments in mental health disorders and addiction.
3. Self-help Tools
The self-help industry claims to want to help you develop better habits. Before newer technologies, self-help mainly came in the form of physical books, but these days you can access information from home through eBooks, online courses, apps, and podcasts.
Avoid food fights. A healthy child instinctively knows how much to eat. If he refuses to finish whatever food is on his plate, just let it go. He won't starve.
What Else Is Important?
Two factors that effectively help people achieve the behavior change they desire are incentives and accountability.
The American Society of Training and Development (ASTD) have released data from their study on accountability and the results were very interesting! What did they find? If you are held accountable to someone else, by committing to someone that you will achieve a goal, then your chance of success is up to 95 percent.
Accountability is the most important factor in habit formation or habit changing. This means that the likelihood that you will reduce your alcohol or lose weight will go up if you share your goal with friends , family or your community, either in person or online.
Though the above-mentioned tools are proven to work, physicians and therapists typically don't employ them that often because they don't think they are relevant to mental health issues and compulsive behaviors .
So, when people become "addicted" or "depressed" we just tell them they should stop without rerouting those "bad habits" and then wonder why it doesn't work. Why? Because we are bad at stopping ourselves from doing something, especially if it's already a habit.
While attending a mental health conference, I was introduced to another woman in the industry. She told me that we (we as in medical and health professionals) are not very good at getting people to stop anything. Instead, we are much better at getting them to do something else.
Let your kids fail. To learn self-sufficiency, kids need to occasionally dust themselves off (literally and figuratively) without your help. "Most parents know what their children are capable of but step in to make things easier for them," says Sheri Noga, the author of Have the Guts to Do It Right: Raising Grateful and Responsible Children in an Era of Indulgence. Remember: Long-term benefits—a teenager who knows how to do her own laundry, for example—trump momentary discomfort. Before you rush in to help with any physical task, ask yourself: "Is my child in real danger?" Then—and this applies to other challenges, like the social studies poster due tomorrow—think about whether your child has the necessary skills (dexterity and balance) or simply adequate sleep and a snack. Yes? Time to back off and see what happens.
The key is to start your habit changing journey much earlier than the problematic tipping point. That tipping point is a world full of shame, stigma, and disappointment that makes normal coping and functioning look like a faraway land of make-believe, on you'll never attain. If you can learn to control your habits long before they become addictions or disorders however, you'll have a much better chance at not only surviving, but thriving.
Ready for a toolkit you can use to reset your daily habits? Sign up for the 21-day habit reset challenge and join a community of people who want to beat bad habits once and for all.