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Parent: I'm ticked off by the college admissions scandal — and all parents should be

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Parent: I'm ticked off by the college admissions scandal — and all parents should be

Here we are, exhorting our kids to study, to work hard to get into a good college. Why didn’t we think of bribing a school with a truckload of money?

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Gimme a break.

Wait, no, that’s not right — no one from that show was implicated in the enormous college-admission scandal. Yet.

Just Lori Loughlin (Aunt Becky from “Full House”) and Felicity Huffman (Lynette Scavo on “Desperate Housewives”) on the TV-show front.

So far.

More: What we know about Olivia Jade, Lori Loughlin's daughter caught up in admissions scandal

But there are scads of other powerful people on the list of those charged in the case, which involves accusations of paying bribes to get kids into top-flight colleges.

Know when to toilet train. Look for these two signs that your child is ready to use the potty: He senses the urge to pee and poop (this is different from knowing that he's already gone), and he asks for a diaper change.

And I feel stupid, like so many other “normal” parents out there.

Here we are, exhorting our kids to study, to work hard, to do anything and nearly everything they can to get into a good college. Meanwhile we scrimp and save and look for worthwhile SAT classes and study prep and campus visits.

Getting into school is something kids earn

What dopes. Why didn’t we think of bribing a good college with a truckload of money?

Oh, that’s right. Most of us don’t have a truckload of money. And what money we do have, we spend a big chunk of trying to ensure that our kids are prepared as well as they can be. Then we trust them to do their best, because getting into a good school is something they have to earn, not us.

Unless, evidently, they’re rich.

That’s the one thing the people federal agents charged in the scandal Tuesday have in common: money, and lots of it. There’s fashion designer Mossimo Giannulli (Loughlin’s husband), partners at equity firms, investors, presidents of companies, those sorts of high-rollers.

Who can blame them, really? It’s not as if rich people already had advantages the rest of us don’t enjoy.

Oh. Right.

The rich already have so many advantages

That’s what’s really galling. If you have the money to bribe your way into college, you already have so many advantages it’s almost impossible to quantify.

Certainly elite schools already are populated by plenty of kids whose parents, if they didn’t actually buy their children’s way in, certainly greased the admissions process with loads of cash. If your grandfather built a library at Yale, well, you may not need to score as high on the SAT as the girl who sits next to you who studies till midnight every night after coming home from the after-school job she picked up to help pay for the college-prep course she signed up for on the weekend.

She’s the one who’s really getting cheated here.

Colleges are insanely competitive, now more than ever. Scholarships, academic and athletic, are highly coveted, and the race to get them is both a marathon and a sprint. You don’t want that B+ in your freshman-year math class to come back to haunt you. Meanwhile, you have to make sure you get good tape from your club volleyball team to send to coaches — yes, for the vast majority of athletes, it works that way, rather than coaches coming to you, despite what happens in football and basketball.

Oh, but if the accusations are true, this bunch cheated these kids, too. Pay a half-million bucks to pretend your kid is on the crew team to get a scholarship to the University of Southern California? Or watch your daughter fight her way through rehab after tearing her ACL just so that she has a shot at making it onto a team at a smaller school, just because she loves the game so much?

Normal rules apply. Discipline the child who stutters just as you do your other children and just as you would if he didn’t stutter.

The former sure sounds easier. But the latter will make your child a much better person in the long run. At least that kid worked for what she got.

Every parent wants what’s best for their kids. Some lucky ones have the means to make that easier. And for some, even that’s not enough.

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Lori Loughlin, Felicity Huffman and more celebrities in legal trouble

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Lori Loughlin, Felicity Huffman

Lori Loughlin (left) and Felicity Huffman (right) were among the 50 people charged March 12 in what federal officials say is the nation's largest-ever college admissions bribery case prosecuted by the Justice Department. We're looking back at more celebrities who've been in hot water recently. Frazer Harrison, Getty Images

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"Empire" actor Jussie Smollett, center, arrives at Leighton Criminal Court Building for a hearing to discuss whether cameras will be allowed in the courtroom during his disorderly conduct case on Tuesday, March 12, 2019, in Chicago. A grand jury indicted Smollett last week on 16 felony counts accusing him of lying to the police about being the victim of a racist and homophobic attack by two masked men in downtown Chicago.(AP Photo/Matt Marton) ORG XMIT: ILMM109

"Empire" actor Jussie Smollett filed a police report on Jan. 29, alleging he was physically attacked by two men who also used homophobic and racial slurs. After speculation arose that Smollett had hired the men to stage an attack, the actor was indicted in March by a grand jury on 16 felony accounts accusing him of lying to the police. Matt Marton, AP

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epa07420408 R&B singer R. Kelly (R) speaks during an interview with CBS This Morning's Gayle King (L) at the Trump Hotel in Chicago, Illinois, USA, 05 March 2019 (Issued 07 March 2019). Kelly, who faces criminal sexual abuse charges, has failed to pay more than 161 thousand US dollar in back child support. He was taken into custody to be returned to the Cook County Jail after failing to pay the full amount he owes on 07 March.  EPA-EFE/JAKE BARLOW   EDITORIAL USE ONLY/NO SALES ORG XMIT: THM01

R&B star R. Kelly was arrested in February and charged with 10 counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse, with multiple alleged acts dating back to 1998. Court documents showed three of the victims were between the ages of 13 and 17. "Thirty years of my career and you try to kill me?" he said on "CBS This Morning" in his first televised interview since the arrest. "This isn't about music; I'm trying to have a relationship with my kids and I can't do it." JAKE BARLOW, EPA-EFE

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LAS VEGAS, NV - SEPTEMBER 12:  Rapper Bow Wow arrives at the VIP Pre-Fight Party for 'High Stakes: Mayweather v. Berto' presented by Showtime at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on September 12, 2015 in Las Vegas, Nevada.  (Photo by Bryan Steffy/Getty Images for Showtime) ORG XMIT: 577115651 ORIG FILE ID: 487964326

Rapper Bow Wow was arrested in February after a fight. Leslie Holden and Bow Wow, whose real name is Shad Moss, both had "visible minor injuries" and it was unclear who the "primary aggressor " was, so they were both charged with battery, police said. Bryan Steffy, Getty Images for Showtime

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Jack Black and Joey Gaydos Jr., in a scene from the motion picture The School of Rock. --- DATE TAKEN: rec'd 09/03  By Andrew Schwartz   Paramount Pictures        HO      - handout ORG XMIT: ZX5960

Joey Gaydos Jr. (right), best known for his 2003 role as Zack in "School of Rock," was arrested in March for stealing guitars and music equipment in Florida. ANDREW SCHWARTZ, PARAMOUNT PICTURES

Agree with your child rules for Internet use in your home. Try to reach an agreement with your child on the guidelines which apply to Internet use in your household.

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FT. LAUDERDALE, FL - FEBRUARY 13:  In this handout photo provided by the Broward's Sheriff's Office, rapper YNW Melly, real name Jamell Demons, is seen in a police booking photo after being charged with two counts of murder in the first degree February 13, 2019 in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.  Demons allegedly conspired with Cortlen Henry to fatally shot two other Florida based rappers, Christopher Thomas Jr and Anthony Williams, October 26.  (Photo by Broward's Sheriff's Office via Getty Images) ORG XMIT: 775299452 ORIG FILE ID: 1124898851

Rapper YNW Melly, whose real name is Jamell Demons, was charged in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, with two counts of first degree murder on Feb. 13. Police allege he shot Christopher Thomas Jr. and Anthony Williams, two other Florida-based rappers. Handout, Getty Images

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BROOKLYN, NY - SEPTEMBER 15:  Peter Thomas attends Finding Ashley Stewart 2018 at Kings Theatre on September 15, 2018 in Brooklyn, New York.  (Photo by Bennett Raglin/Getty Images for Ashley Stewart) ORG XMIT: 775226451 [Via MerlinFTP Drop]

"Real Housewives of Atlanta" star Peter Thomas was arrested in March for allegedly writing fraudulent checks. His attorney, Keith Doley, claimed the situation was "an unfortunate misunderstanding" and after delivering a $4,000 check, the DA's office dropped the charges. Bennett Raglin, Getty Images for Ashley Stewart

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NEW YORK, NY - FEBRUARY 08: Host Jordan Klepper during a taping of Comedy Central's "The Opposition w/ Jordan Klepper" at Hotel Pennsylvania on February 8, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Kris Connor/Getty Images for Comedy Central) ORG XMIT: 775121173 ORIG FILE ID: 915950548

While filming a new Comedy Central show at a Board of Regents meeting in the Georgia Capitol Building on Feb. 12, comedian Jordan Klepper and members of his crew were arrested for tresspassing. Kris Connor, Getty Images for Comedy Central

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FILE - In this Sunday, Oct. 28, 2018, file photo, 21 Savage performs at the Voodoo Music Experience in City Park in New Orleans. Authorities in Atlanta say Grammy-nominated rapper 21 Savage is in federal immigration custody. U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement spokesman Bryan Cox says the artist, whose given name is Sha Yaa Bin Abraham-Joseph, was arrested in a targeted operation early Sunday, Feb. 3, 2019, in the Atlanta area. (Photo by Amy Harris/Invision/AP, File) ORG XMIT: NYSB772

26-year-old Atlanta-based rapper 21 Savage, born in the U.K. as She'yaa Bin Abraham-Joseph, was taken into ICE custody over a visa that allegedly expired in 2006. Amy Harris/Invision/AP

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LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - FEBRUARY 07: Reality TV Personality Gina Kirschenheiter attends the 2019 Pre-GRAMMY event presented by OK!, Star, In Touch and Life & Style magazines at the Liaison Restaurant on February 07, 2019 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Paul Archuleta/Getty Images) ORG XMIT: 775292841 ORIG FILE ID: 1128257675

"Real Housewives of Orange County" star Gina Kirschenheiter faced an arrest warrant late in February after she failed to appear in court for a DUI arrest hearing. The warrant has since been dropped and Kirschenheiter's arraignment is scheduled for April 16. Paul Archuleta, Getty Images

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  • "Empire" actor Jussie Smollett, center, arrives at Leighton Criminal Court Building for a hearing to discuss whether cameras will be allowed in the courtroom during his disorderly conduct case on Tuesday, March 12, 2019, in Chicago. A grand jury indicted Smollett last week on 16 felony counts accusing him of lying to the police about being the victim of a racist and homophobic attack by two masked men in downtown Chicago.(AP Photo/Matt Marton) ORG XMIT: ILMM1092 of 10
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  • LAS VEGAS, NV - SEPTEMBER 12:  Rapper Bow Wow arrives at the VIP Pre-Fight Party for 'High Stakes: Mayweather v. Berto' presented by Showtime at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on September 12, 2015 in Las Vegas, Nevada.  (Photo by Bryan Steffy/Getty Images for Showtime) ORG XMIT: 577115651 ORIG FILE ID: 4879643264 of 10
  • Jack Black and Joey Gaydos Jr., in a scene from the motion picture The School of Rock. --- DATE TAKEN: rec'd 09/03  By Andrew Schwartz   Paramount Pictures        HO      - handout ORG XMIT: ZX59605 of 10
  • FT. LAUDERDALE, FL - FEBRUARY 13:  In this handout photo provided by the Broward's Sheriff's Office, rapper YNW Melly, real name Jamell Demons, is seen in a police booking photo after being charged with two counts of murder in the first degree February 13, 2019 in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.  Demons allegedly conspired with Cortlen Henry to fatally shot two other Florida based rappers, Christopher Thomas Jr and Anthony Williams, October 26.  (Photo by Broward's Sheriff's Office via Getty Images) ORG XMIT: 775299452 ORIG FILE ID: 11248988516 of 10
  • BROOKLYN, NY - SEPTEMBER 15:  Peter Thomas attends Finding Ashley Stewart 2018 at Kings Theatre on September 15, 2018 in Brooklyn, New York.  (Photo by Bennett Raglin/Getty Images for Ashley Stewart) ORG XMIT: 775226451 [Via MerlinFTP Drop]7 of 10
  • NEW YORK, NY - FEBRUARY 08: Host Jordan Klepper during a taping of Comedy Central's "The Opposition w/ Jordan Klepper" at Hotel Pennsylvania on February 8, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Kris Connor/Getty Images for Comedy Central) ORG XMIT: 775121173 ORIG FILE ID: 9159505488 of 10
  • FILE - In this Sunday, Oct. 28, 2018, file photo, 21 Savage performs at the Voodoo Music Experience in City Park in New Orleans. Authorities in Atlanta say Grammy-nominated rapper 21 Savage is in federal immigration custody. U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement spokesman Bryan Cox says the artist, whose given name is Sha Yaa Bin Abraham-Joseph, was arrested in a targeted operation early Sunday, Feb. 3, 2019, in the Atlanta area. (Photo by Amy Harris/Invision/AP, File) ORG XMIT: NYSB7729 of 10
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Reach Goodykoontz at bill.goodykoontz@arizonarepublic.com. Facebook: facebook.com/GoodyOnFilm. Twitter: @goodyk.

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