'My SIL stole my baby name on the eve of my c-section'

"I received a text message that ripped my heart into pieces moments before my surgery."

It was the night before my scheduled C- section and just before I headed off to bed to try and get a good night’s sleep my phone buzzed.

From Liz (sister-in-law)

“Good luck tomorrow,” it read. “BTW I ‘bags’ the name Maddy.”

I looked at my husband and burst into tears

“Maddy is our name”, I wailed, holding my phone up for him to see.

'I couldn't believe what I was seeing.' Image: iStock

'I couldn't believe what I was seeing.' Image: iStock

Yes, my sister- in-law was trying to claim the name we had already chosen for our daughter. The one due to be born the very next day. What's worse, she waited until now, the night before I was scheduled to have our daughter to mention that she had also wanted it for her own.

That text message shot through me like a bullet

I was in a sense of complete disbelief and I was heartbroken, the name I had been calling my unborn daughter for about seven months now was ‘taken’.

I know what you’re thinking- first world problems?! And yes, possibly they are, but at that moment there was no perspective, there was no logical thinking, there was no being reasonable.

'My blood started to boil.' Image: iStock

'My blood started to boil.' Image: iStock

The reality was

I was nine months pregnant.

I was emotional.

I was hormonal.

My first labour had been difficult and had resulted in an emergency C-section so I was trying not to freak out. I had worked hard to remain calm in preparation for my second birth experience to make it better than the first, and up until I read that text I had managed to do so.

Don't clip your child's wings. Your toddler's mission in life is to gain independence. So when she's developmentally capable of putting her toys away, clearing her plate from the table, and dressing herself, let her. Giving a child responsibility is good for her self-esteem (and your sanity!).

And now, the night before I was to give birth, my sister=in-law decided to tell me that the name I had chosen was supposedly ‘hers’. She had ‘bagsed’ it, that I could not use this name.

For some background - my sister-in-law lives in a different state and we don’t talk regularly so this shared love for the same name had not come up in conversation. I didn’t usually hear her news until I actually saw her which at the time wasn’t very often. Liz was also pregnant, about three months behind me, she was also having a girl. This was all information I knew but it was only now I had discovered that her daughter’s name too was going to be Maddy.

'I knew that the name belonged to my baby.' Image: iStock

'I knew that the name belonged to my baby.' Image: iStock

So, as you have probably already worked out I was not impressed. I was not impressed that I was being told it was her name to use and not mine and most of all I was not impressed that Liz had decided to share this information the night before I was to have my daughter, not in conversation months, weeks or even days prior. Instead, it was the night before. Who 'claims' a name the night before someone goes in to have a baby?!

I knew what needed to be done

It's OK for your teen to be online. Online relationships are part of typical adolescent development. Social media can support teens as they explore and discover more about themselves and their place in the grown-up world. Just be sure your teen is behaving appropriately in both the real and online worlds. Many teens need to be reminded that a platform's privacy settings do not make things actually "private" and that images, thoughts, and behaviors teens share online will instantly become a part of their digital footprint indefinitely. Keep lines of communication open and let them know you're there if they have questions or concerns.

After my tears were shed, my anger was released, and sleep was had, I woke up knowing what I was going to do. I wasn’t sure how it would be absorbed by Liz, but I knew it was right for us.

My daughter had always been and was always going to be Maddy, no ‘bagsing’ was going to change my mind. My Maddy was born happy and healthy that morning, followed by her cousin Maddy three months later.

They are great friends, as are myself and Liz - even after what she did the night before my daughter was born.