I was asked the other day if I had let anyone mind my son. And the answer was no.
Apart from his daycare educators, our 18-month-old has either been in my care or with the hubby.
Even taking him to daycare on his first day filled me with anxiety. We stayed for at least 30 minutes and watched as he happily settled in — playing with his educators and the other children.
But I was so overcome with sadness I pulled into a local 7-Eleven around the corner and sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed so loud that my poor husband thought I’d lost the plot (never mind the poor man filling his car with petrol at the next bowser).
Since then not even my son’s grandparents or aunts and uncles have had him on their own yet (much to their disappointment). It’s not that I don’t trust my loved ones with him, of course, I do. And they’re always on hand to help on Saturdays when I’m at work and our son is in the care of Daddy Daycare for a good 12 hours.
Lillian Saleh is yet to leave her son with anyone, apart from his daycare educators — much to her mother’s disappointment. Picture: iStock
It’s just that I’m not ready to let go yet
Set up a "gratitude circle" every night at dinner. Go around the table and take turns talking about the various people who were generous and kind to each of you that day. It may sound corny, but it makes everyone feel good.
I’ve only ever left him for a few hours once at night when I attended a friend’s birthday but he was home with Daddy and I checked in three times in the few hours I was away.
I’m not sure when I will be ready to leave him. Sure. it’d be nice to get dressed and go out for a nice fancy meal (who am I kidding, I live in my PJs when not in my work clothes and I always end up doing a Maccas run after a swanky dinner where they serve a spoonful of food on a plate as big as the moon).
I often joke that I am never letting him move out of home. Certainly not before he is 30 anyway. And by then, I figure I will be old and he wouldn’t want to leave his Mumma.
I know I’m being silly and the day will come where I can no longer knock back invites, or avoid after-work functions, or miss out on seeing my favourite artists in concert.
But for now, to be honest, I’d much rather be at home playing with him.
This story was originally published on the Daily Telegraph and has been republished here with permission.