$1,119 to be exact.
It's hard to know what goes on behind the closed doors of other families. Sometimes you make assumptions, like that a husband and wife share their money as a family, or that they have sex without expecting payment.
And then someone posts something online that blows up all your assumptions about married life.
Take the case of the wife whose husband 'offered' to give her more money if she had sex with him.
Keys to a healthy relationship
5 keys to a healthy relationship
To start with, their situation is that she's been supporting him while he's been unemployed. And now he has a job, so he's going to start giving her some money.
Is this how other couples do things financially ? Assign money to each other each month rather than share a bank account? I guess it is.
The 30-year-old mother-of-one wrote on mumsnet asking other women what they thought of the situation.
She explained it like this:
"Last night DH brought up his wages, and how much he thought he was going to get paid, as he’s only getting paid for part of the month.
"He then asked me how much I wanted of it. When he was working before he’d just give me a certain amount every month, which would be his share of the bills, and that’s how we’ve always done it.
Trust your mommy gut. No one knows your child better than you. Follow your instincts when it comes to his health and well-being. If you think something's wrong, chances are you're right.
"So last night he asked me how much I wanted, I said it was his money and I’d rather he say a figure. He offered £300 ($559) of a £1000 ($1,865) estimated wage. I said OK, that’s fine. Bit annoying that it’s quite low (considering I’ve been paying for everything and really working myself into the ground for the past six months) but as it’s his first wage in a while I don’t want to take it all off him.''
Wow. Yep. This is already not seeming great for her. And then she shared this:
"DH then offered me £600 ($1,119) instead, but if I wanted that I would have to do something sexual- either sex, or a handjob.''
Is this a marriage or an escort service? Source: iStock.
A wife not a sex worker
Err, OK. This poor woman is understandably pretty upset by this.
"I said no, and told him not to treat me like that as I’m his wife, not a sex worker. (Just to add, nothing against sex workers in the slightest! But I don’t expect my husband to treat me like that.) He then kept going on and on at me, 'are you sure? Think of what you could buy with an extra £600'.''
She wonders whether she deserves more.
"If he can afford to give me £600 if it means getting his own way, why not give me the £600 anyway?? Considering I’ve spent thousands keeping us and DD afloat while he’s been unemployed, and giving him money for whatever he needs. Surely that’s the least I deserve!''
Say "I love you" whenever you feel it, even if it's 743 times a day. You simply can not spoil a child with too many mushy words of affection and too many smooches. Not possible.
It gets worse, because this man also is a man child.
"It doesn’t help that he has to be told constantly what to do. This includes brushing teeth, showering, sorting DD out and general housework, etc. If I don’t ask him/remind him that he needs to do these things then he just won’t do them. Why would I fawn over a man who acts like a child? Our six year old DD is more self sufficient than him.''
He's lazy as well as rude. Source: Supplied.
What a charmer
It will come as little surprise that everyone thought she deserves more. Much, much more.
"He’s a fully grown adult and has to be reminded to brush his teeth and shower like a young child? So you’re basically his mother in that instance. Then on the flipside he offers you money as a bribe for sex as if you’re a sex worker? What a charmer,'' someone noted.
"It sounds like a control/power thing. Its demeaning. It's also demeaning that he doesn't act like your partner and expects you to take the load,'' one person commented.
Others were more pressing.
"He sounds like a dick to be honest. What are his good points? If you didn't have a child with him would you still be there? Do you see yourself growing old with this man child? I couldn't and wouldn't be with someone who has such a lack of respect for me that they offer me money for a handjob or whatever. I'd be telling him to hire himself an escort and making plans to leave.''
Just say "No." Resist the urge to take on extra obligations at the office or become the Volunteer Queen at your child's school. You will never, ever regret spending more time with your children.
"Urgh. How can you ever have sex with him again?'' someone asked.
Others were worried about her financial situation.
"This is so far from normal. He gives you £300 a month so retains 70 percent for personal spends. AND you have a child ... Honestly I’d ensure I was hoarding £700 a month and making plans to leave him,'' someone wrote.
We'd have to agree.